From: Eileen Date: Sat, 07 Nov 1998 13:34:00 Subject: Forgiveness (1/1) **For all the Missy Scully fans** Title: Forgiveness (1/1) Author: Eileen Whipple Email: whipples@connect.ab.ca Rating: PG for mature subject matter Category: S/A Spoiler: "Beyond the Sea" (in a way) Keyword: Pre-XF Summary: Melissa and Dana's relationship is tested when Melissa begins rebelling when they are younger. DISCLAIMER: I do not own these characters (except the made-up ones). Chris Carter and 10-13 Prodcutions do. Author's Note: I wrote this story in December 1996 and I've been looking for a place to put it so others could read it, and even though not much was known about Melissa, most of this is a "What if...?" **Forgiveness** 1976... "Missy, it's time for church," twelve-year-old Dana Scully called to her older sister Melissa. Dana entered her fourteen-year-old sister's room. Melissa was sitting at her window. She was still in her pajamas. "Missy, why aren't you dressed?" Dana was surprised at her sister; Melissa was usually ready long before it was time to leave. "I'm not going to church, Dana." "What? Dad'll be furious." Dana went to her sister's closet and pulled out a dress. "Put this on and come downstairs or Mom and Dad will kill you." Melissa said angrily, "Dana, I'm not going. Why go to church to worship someone who doesn't exist?" Dana was taken aback. "Melissa, how can you say that? God does exist and you know that." "If He did exist, there wouldn't be wars and there wouldn't be a need for armed forces and Dad would have a normal job and we wouldn't have to move all over the countryside. "The only reason I've gone to church without a fuss is because Dad makes me and I was trying to get on his good side but you've already taken that job." Dana tossed the dress on Melissa's bed. "Fine. Be selfish and ignorant and stay home. I'll just tell Mom and Dad you're feeling sick." Melissa turned to look out the window. 1978... The Melissa everybody knew changed over the next two years; she changed for the worse. Navy captain William Scully, Sr., finally got fed up with his eldest daughter. "Melissa, if you don't start shaping up, I'll send you to military school. Before it was just your school marks but now, it's your entire attitude. Suddenly, all your boyfriends have become more important than your family. Why can't you be more like your brothers and sister?" Melissa barely paid attention to her father. William said, "Bill, Jr., is graduating this year, Charles is doing extremely well in school and Dana is at the top of her class in every subject. Why aren't you like them? You used to be." "Of course! Dana! You just have to mention her, don't you? Your sweet, innocent Starbuck can do no wrong! Let me tell you, Captain Ahab: we are none of us perfect and one day, your favourite daughter is going to fail you," Melissa yelled. As a shock to both of them, William slapped Melissa across the face. She touched her cheek, tears springing to her eyes. William demanded, "How do you know that? Dana shows a lot of promise, as did you when you were her age but you've changed. It's your friends who are causing you to rebel, isn't it? And that boyfriend of yours?" Melissa's mother Margaret had entered the kitchen where the huge argument was taking place. "William, why? Why did you have to slap her?" "Maggie, stay out of this, please." Melissa jumped to her feet, her hands clenched into fists and tears streaming down her cheeks. "I'm getting sick of this crap! Dad, you make me want to vomit, the way you fawn over your precious Starbuck! It makes me ill." She turned to her mother. "And you, Mom: the way you let Dad play favourites. It's not fair. Do you two ever stop to think that the reason I turned out like this is because you never paid attention to me? Bill's the oldest, Dana's the youngest girl, Charles is the youngest...what am I? I'm the freak, the black sheep of the family." "Melissa, go to your room. I can't stand to look at you right now and until further notice, you're grounded," her father said. "And you're not to see that Rob jerk anymore." Melissa looked scornfully at her parents before running up to her bedroom. The first thing Melissa did when she got up to her room was close and lock her door. She then used her own telephone to call her boyfriend, Rob Palmer. She told him everything her father had said and done. She finally said, "What am I going to do?" "Run away with me, Missy. We'll hit the road and never look back. We won't stop for anybody." Melissa said, "Rob, I don't know if that's a wise idea. I don't know how I'll get out. I'm sure my father will be guarding me like the Secret Service guards Jimmy Carter. Like I said, I'm grounded and I'm not allowed to see you anymore." "It's obvious they don't care about you or what you think. That's why I want you to come with me. My parents own a condo in San Francisco. We can stay there." Melissa asked, "How do I know you won't leave me in San Francisco?" "Remember that promise I made you after we...you know, lost our innocence? It still sticks in San Francisco." Melissa did remember the promise that had been made near the river, under the moon, after she'd lost her virginity to Rob. He'd promised they'd stay together. "Missy, won't it feel good to get away from being second to Dana. It's obvious who they favour more." Melissa said, "Okay, we'll leave tonight. I'll pack and empty my bank account, then we'll meet at the park." Rob assured her, "Missy, everything will be okay." Later that day, Melissa heard a knock on her door. "Missy, it's Mom. Can I come in?" Melissa quickly shoved the duffel bag she'd been packing under the bed. "It's unlocked." Margaret entered her daughter's room. "Your dad and I are going out so watch your younger brother and sister." "Fine." Melissa rolled over on her bed. "I'm sorry, Missy. We didn't mean to make you mad. We're just worried about your well-being. I don't mind Rob but it seems your dad does." "Mom, I'm sure if Dad had a boyfriend, Dad wouldn't have a problem. She's his favourite and you know it." "Your father just doesn't want Rob or anyone to pressure you into sex or drugs." Melissa bit her lip. She was wondering if her mother could tell she wasn't a virgin and that's why she'd brought the whole subject up. "Mom, look at me. I'm sixteen years old. I think I can be responsible and make my own decisions." Margaret nodded. "I know but it's up to your dad." "He lets Dana make her own decisions and mistakes. Why does he have to give her special treatment? I think we all deserve equal respect and attention." "What do you have against your little sister? Why do you dislike her so much?" Melissa slumped down on her bed. "I don't hate her. She's my sister but I hate the way I'm treated as an outcast by my own father." "He loves you all equally. It's the same with me. You're all my babies." Margaret left her daughter's room. As soon as Melissa saw her parents were gone, she finished packing and instead of watching her younger siblings, she found her bank book and started getting ready to go to the bank. Dana walked in. "What are you doing, Missy?" "It's none of your business," she snapped. "Watch Charles. I'll be back soon." Dana cried, "But you're grounded!" Melissa ignored her and left. "Goodnight, everybody." Melissa trotted up to her bedroom. She had her clothes on beneath her nightgown. She'd called Rob when she'd gotten back from the bank to tell him that she'd saved nearly three hundred dollars and that she wanted him to meet her at midnight. By then, everybody would be asleep and she could get out without any trouble. She sat in her dark room, waiting to hear the sounds of her family heading up to bed. Melissa knew her father loved her but she had to admit that she was jealous of his and her younger sister's relationship. There had been a time when Dana and Melissa had been the best of friends. They'd been about six years younger and inseparable; they'd done everything together. One day, their friendship deteriorated due to the jealousy Melissa had for her sister's bond with their father. She knew the reason Dana was being treated specially was because she was the baby girl of the family. Melissa did love her sister but it just killed her that she was practically invisible except when she got in trouble. She knew her father loved her but he didn't show it the way fathers usually did. When Melissa was sure everyone was asleep, she got her duffel bag, took her nightgown off and started down the stairs. She looked at the kitchen clock; it was nearly twelve. She wasn't sure if what she was about to do was the right thing but she was too angry to care. She quickly made a few peanut butter sandwiches. Melissa crammed her money into her jeans' pocket. Grabbing her duffel bag, she went into the den. She pulled a photo album off the shelf. She opened it and found a family photo. Though she was angry, she knew she was going to miss her family. Melissa removed the picture and placed it in her bag. "Missy, why are you still up?" Dana was standing in the doorway. "Dana, go to bed," Melissa said, standing up. "I came down to get a drink. What are you doing with that bag? Where are you going?" Melissa led her younger sister into the kitchen and poured her a glass of milk. "I'm leaving home but you have to promise me you won't tell Mom and Dad until I say." Dana gulped. "Missy, you're running away? Why? How will I know when to tell Mom and Dad?" "You wouldn't understand. I'll call you." Dana said, "I understand. It's because of me." "It's not you. It's the way Dad treats you. He gives you tons of attention but ignores me except when I do something wrong." "Where are you going?" "San Francisco. I'm going with Rob. You better not tell Dad or I'll tell him about that little episode last month. I know you were smoking." Dana gasped. "How did you know? Besides, how will you tell him?" Melissa smiled. "I have my ways." She looked at the clock. "Dana, I have to go. I'll call." She kissed her sister's forehead. "But Christmas is next month. Will you be home?" "I can't promise you, Dana. Maybe is all I can say." She stood up and went to the back door in the kitchen. "I love you, Dana. I'll see you later." Melissa and Rob had been in the San Francisco suburb of El Cerrito for nearly a week when Melissa decided to call home. Fortunately, Dana answered. "Missy, hi! How are you?" "I'm great. Where's Mom and Dad?" "They're out looking for you. Don't worry. I didn't tell them where you are." Melissa asked, concerned, "How are they taking it?" "Really bad. Mom cried and Dad is really worried. I miss you like crazy." Melissa was surprised. "Dad's worried? He didn't say this was typical behaviour for me." "No. He's just as scared as Mom. He actually told me when he was tucking me in a couple nights. He's blaming himself, Missy." "I can't come home yet, but I'm okay. I got a job at a New Age store in Berkeley and Rob's working at a garage in the city." Dana asked, "Can I have your phone number?" "No. I'll call you and write you some letters. Just make sure you get to the mail before Dad." "I went to church by myself last night. I went to confession. I told the priest about my situation and he told me to do what I felt was right. Afterwards, I said a prayer for you." "Thanks, Dana. Now, I have to go. I'll call again soon," Melissa said. "I miss you and love you, Missy." The next time Melissa called home, it was Christmas Eve and she had big news. Dana answered again. "Missy, why didn't you come home? Why didn't you put the return address on your envelopes?" "It's too risky. I need to talk to Mom. Is she home?" Melissa asked. "No. She and Dad are at the Sumners' Christmas party. Why do you need to talk to her?" Melissa was silent but then, she blurted out, "Dana, I'm pregnant." "Missy! You're not serious?" "I'm afraid so. I just got back from the doctor and it turns out I'm about two months pregnant." Dana said in disbelief, "How? When? You never had morning sickness." "Remember that night in October when I got home late after my date with Rob and you caught me sneaking in? I lost my virginity that night and accidentally got pregnant. I'm not sure about the morning sickness. It surprised me too." Dana asked, "How did you know to go to the doctor then?" "I felt weird and moody so I went. He did a quick test and it was positive." "What are you going to do? Did you tell Rob? You have to come home." "I'm going to have the baby and Rob and I are going to raise it here in San Francisco. Just tell Mom when she gets home. Tell her and Dad I'm okay." Melissa awoke, lying in a pool of blood, on Christmas morning. She felt faint and dizzy. "Rob!" she called softly. She curled up into a fetal position and clutched her abdomen in pain. He heard her and came from the master bedroom's bathroom. "I just got out of the shower and--oh my God!" He saw all the blood and ran to the phone. Rob called 911 and told the dispatcher what he saw. "Is she pregnant? If she is, I'm afraid she might have miscarried. Just get her to a hospital quickly." It had been, in fact, a miscarriage. Melissa was so devastated that after the doctors told her, she said to Rob, "Call my parents. I need my mom. I need my sister. Just call them, Rob." He left the hospital room. Melissa rolled over and started weeping. This was all one big mess. Miscarrying was as big as a surprise to her as being pregnant had been. She hadn't been too thrilled when she'd found out she was expecting but she knew every living thing deserved a chance at life. Rob had been excited. He almost had to be, as did Melissa since they hadn't used any protection the night they'd made love; it had been spur of the moment. Melissa wished she could go back in time, back to when she was younger, and change the years. She wished she'd been more like her sister or had listened to her parents more often then she did. Rob came into the room. "Your parents are coming. They're bringing Dana. They said she wants to see you." Melissa moaned. She knew her little sister looked up to her--admired her--and now, Melissa felt as if she'd failed her. All these years, Melissa had been blinded by fury and spite and she'd forgotten how much Dana respected her. "They'll be here later on. They're driving from San Diego." Rob hugged Melissa. "Don't worry, Missy. You'll be out of here by tomorrow and if you want, we can go home." Melissa cried, "It won't be the same. Everything's changed. I'm worried that my sister will have lost respect for me." "I called Acacia and told her why you couldn't visit her this morning. She said that she was sorry and that she'd be coming by with your Christmas gifts." Acacia Webster was the owner of Crystal Power, the New Age store where Melissa worked. Melissa felt a throbbing pain in her head. She said to Rob, "I'm going to try to sleep. My head hurts like hell." Rob sat beside the bed, watching over Melissa. ~~~~~~ Melissa woke up several hours later. Rob was gone; she figured he'd gone to get something to eat. She saw a package wrapped in tissue paper on her bedside table. It was from Acacia. Melissa decided to open it. Inside was a purple crystal and a lemon aromatherapy candle. Both were used to promote anti-stress and emotional healing. Acacia knew about Melissa's past and how much she needed healing. She lit the candle with the matches Acacia had provided. Breathing in and out, Melissa became drowsy and after blowing the candle out, she fell asleep again. "Hi, Missy. It's Mom." Melissa groaned and groggily opened her hazel eyes. Margaret Scully stood, smiling, over her eldest daughter. She stroked Melissa's auburn hair. "Oh, Mom," Melissa said, beginning to cry. "I know you and Dad are ashamed of me and no matter what I sat will make you forgive me, but I am so sorry." Margaret continued stroking her daughter's hair. "We forgive you and we're not ashamed. You made a mistake. You told me you wanted to make your own decisions and mistakes. You made a mistake by getting pregnant but your decision was a good one: you were going to keep the baby. Why did you run away? Was it because you were pregnant?" Melissa painfully sat up. "I didn't find out I was pregnant until yesterday. I hadn't experienced any signs at home. I thought my period was just late." "Why did you run away?" Margaret repeated, taking Melissa's hand. "I didn't think you and Dad cared about me. I thought Dana was your favourite." Melissa didn't see her sister or father. "Where are they?" "Right here, Missy." Dana ran into the room, carrying a bouquet of flowers. She was followed by Captain Scully. Melissa hugged Dana. "How are you?" Melissa asked. "I should be asking you that." Melissa smiled weakly. "Hi, Dad." William Scully didn't say anything; all he did was hug his eldest daughter tightly. "I'm so sorry, Dad," Melissa sobbed. "Please find it in your heart to forgive me." "Shh, Missy. It's okay. I forgive you. I just want to know if you're feeling okay." "You mean you're not mad?" William answered, "I was at first but today, I talked to Rob and he sounds like he truly cares about you. He said he would have stayed with you and taken care of you and the baby." "I love him, Dad. I hope you can learn to accept him because no matter what you say, we're staying together." William nodded. "I will, just as long as you come home. We need you and one more thing: don't ever pull a stunt like this again." Melissa smiled. "I won't." "Mom, Dad, can I be alone with Missy?" Dana asked. Her parents nodded and left. "What is it?" Melissa pulled her sister onto the hospital bed. "Will life be the same when we get home? I mean, will we always remember the miscarriage?" "It will be hard but as the years go by, it will get better, easier. I'm relieved in a way. I wasn't really ready to be a mother, but I knew I would have to grow up and learn to be responsible so I could be a good mother to my child, the way Mom was to me." "I know you only found out you were pregnant yesterday but what were you going to name the baby?" "Rob and I said that if it was a boy, we'd name him William or if it was a girl, Dana-Margaret, after all the people I hoped would forgive me." Melissa threw her arms around Dana and started crying. "What's wrong, Missy?" Dana asked, rubbing her sister's back. "I've been so jealous of your relationship with Dad that I've forgotten about what good friends we used to be. Can you forgive me for being so envious?" "Missy, how could I not forgive you?" Dana said. "You're my big sister and I love you." Melissa said, "Really? I thought you might have lost respect for me because I'd gotten myself knocked up." "No way." Dana shook her head furiously. "I was actually proud of you. You decided to have the baby instead of taking the easy but immoral way out and getting an abortion." After a few moments of silence, Dana said happily, "Merry Christmas! We're having dinner when you get home and that's when we get to open presents." Melissa frowned. "I'm so sorry, Dana. I didn't buy any gifts for you or the rest of the family. I didn't think anything like this would happen and I didn't think I'd be coming home." "Just as long as you're okay, that's all I need." Melissa said, "You know what, Dana? I've gotten the best gift of all." Dana was puzzled. "What's that, Missy?" Melissa smiled lovingly at her sister. "Forgiveness." END Dedicated to Betty Tuong. Thanks for the support and kind words!