Subject: xfc: Mac Date: 31 Dec 1999 12:25:24 -0800 From: pglore@aol.com Organization: None Newsgroups: alt.tv.x-files.creative From: pglore@aol.com Title: Mac Author: Montana1416 E-mail: pglore@aol.com Rating: G Classification: V, Pre-XF, M/O, M/S romance hoped for Distribution: Anywhere is ok, but let me know. Spoilers: Not any major ones but implied references to the Ghosts Who Stole Christmas, Sixth Extinction: Amor Fati and Millennium Summary: A memory and a ghost from Mulder's past. Disclaimer: The characters of Mulder and Scully belong to CC, 10-13, and Fox, no copyright infringement is intended...I just wanted to play! Feedback: Yes, but please be kind this is a first... Note: This is fluff, but I always wondered why Mulder wore a wedding ring in "Travellers" and "Three of a kind" and then after the "Millennium" episode and rewatching the "Ghost Who Stole Christmas" this just came to me... Christmas Day 1999 Twilight The message light on the answering machine is blinking. A hand reaches out across the desk and with a long index finger presses the play button. "You have two messages" the synthavoice from the machine states. The voice goes on: "Message one:" "Mulder, it's me, I'll try to reach you again later. I just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas." beeep! The voice comes on again with, "Message two:" "Fox , it's Caroline, Mom, Penny and I wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas and thank you for the donation you sent to Robin's Fund." "Take Care...We're thinking of you." "Have a Happy New year... Bye." beeep! "End of messages" the synthavoice intoned. Fox Mulder stood looking out the window of his apartment onto the yard below, where a light dusting of snow covered the ground. He had the look of a man deep in thought, staring but not seeing. The fact was he missed Scully who was spending Christmas with her family in California and would not be back for another four days. He had spent Christmas Eve with his mother in Connecticut. They had gone out for an early Christmas dinner and then he had returned to Washington. He wished it wasn't so stressful to see his Mother, but it was and quick trips were all he could stand. As he continued to stare out the window a lone robin hopping across the snow caught his attention. A sad smile crossed his face as he turned from the window and sat down on his couch. He leaned back and closed his eyes as his thoughts drifted to another place and time. Chilmarck, MA Fall 1971 Robin MacAlister had been the girl next door. Her family had moved in, in the fall of 1971. Mulder had just turned 10 years old and the tragedy that would shape the rest of his life had yet to occur. He remembered meeting a tall blonde girl with big green eyes that had flecks of gold just around the pupils that seemed to sparkle as she talked. The Saturday that the MacAlister's moved in she was sitting on the wall in front of the house trying to stay well out of the way of the men that trailed from the moving van to the house. Mulder had been watching the movers with interest from the window in the Mulder's living room. He noticed the girl just sitting and watching and decided to go out and introduce himself. He was walking across the yard when she turned and said "I was wondering when you were going to come out." "I saw you watching from the window." "My name is Robin MacAlister." She smiled. He was a little taken aback by her straightfowardness, but at the same time he was drawn to this girl and her smile. "My name is Fox Mulder, but you can call me Mulder, no one calls me Fox." Robin looked at him thoughtfully and asked "Why?" Mulder shrugged his shoulders and Robin in turn said; "Ok, if I call you Mulder, you call me Mac... not that anyone else does but..." she let the word hang and then giggled the way only 10 year old girls giggle. Mulder chuckled to himself as he remembered that meeting so many years ago. Mulder and Mac had become fast friends. She was there for so many of the things that shaped the adult Mulder's life. Sam's disappearance key among these. Mac had been his friend for over two years by the time of Sam's disappearance. The month he spent in the hospital in the aftermath was the longest time they had spent a part since their first meeting. Mac was not allowed to visit, but she sent cards and notes with his Parents for every visit. Mulder got out of the hospital in time for Christmas, but his family was already disintegrating and Christmas was not a high priority. Mac and her family made it their mission to make sure his Christmas was full of activity. Mac's Mother and older sisters Caroline and Penny took them to the mall, her father took the whole family including Mulder on nightly drives to see all of the decorated houses around town, they attended midnight mass on Christmas Eve and of course there were presents for Mulder under their tree. Mulder smiled tenderly as he remembered that Christmas with Mac and her family. She had tried so hard. There were many times in the years to come that Mulder would sneak out in the middle of the night after a nightmare and tap on Mac's window to spend the night with his friend. Sometimes they would talk about the things that had scared him or what they imagined their lives would be like when they were older. Other times they would just sleep. Mac's father died when they were in high school and she seemed to withdraw from the people around her, but not from Mulder. She knew that he understood the loss she felt. They had a connection formed in childhood that was as rare as it was special. That friendship continued through college even though they were in different states and sometimes different countries. They would write or phone when they could and talked as if no time had passed. They would share stories of boyfriends, girlfriends, college life, triumphs and failures. Six years would pass before they would actually come face to face again. Washington D.C. May 1988 Mulder had come home from Oxford and was working for the FBI when he finally saw Robin MacAlister by chance. She was a teacher and her class was touring the J. Edgar Hoover Building as part of a package tour for students visiting Washington DC. Mulder had forgotten his building key for the back entrance so he was on his way through the lobby when he spotted his old friend. He was delighted to see her, but noticed that she was pale and quite thin. As he caught up with her, he tapped her on the shoulder and then in one smooth move scooped her into his embrace as she was still trying to figure out what was happening. When she realized who had a hold of her a smile spread across her face and tears welled in her eyes. "Hey, do you treat all tourists this way?" she asked with a smirk and continued; "No wonder this tour is so highly recommended." They both laughed. Mulder looked into her eyes and even though she was laughing something seemed off. She looked worn out. He knew that she had broken off a relationship earlier that spring but couldn't believe that, that was the cause of the sadness behind those beautiful eyes. He asked her to meet him for dinner that night but Mac pointed to the teens standing around her and said; "We come as a package..." and she couldn't leave the other chaperones in a lurch, but if he wanted to join them that would be great. They would meet him at their hotel at six. Dinner was an excursion to McDonalds. Mulder and Mac sat alone together in a booth. Mac told Mulder that this was the tours last night in Washington and tommorrow they would head for home. Mulder wondered why his old friend had not contacted him when she arrived, but kept this to himself. They chit chatted about all the things old friends talk about when they haven't seen each other in a long while. She asked about the FBI. He asked her about teaching history. He saw the light in her eyes as she talked about teaching, then the sadness crept across her face, again. Mulder could not let the look pass he asked, "Hey, why the sad look?" She told him hesitantly at first, thinking that this was not the time or place to tell your oldest friend you were dying. Mulder took in every word she said with a looked that crossed from disbelief to horror. He could not accept that she had been living with this for over a year and not told him. She asked how she was supposed to tell him over the phone. In reality she didn't want say it out loud to him because that made it real. As a child things always seemed more real once Mulder knew. She explained that she had the same rare form of cancer that had taken her Dad. Technically it was called Multiple Myalomma and it attacked the bone marrow. She went on to say that the Doctors had done all they could and she had maybe six months left to live. Tears sprang to Mulders eyes recalling their conversation. He had wanted to hit rewind, not to have bumped into her. Maybe she was right if he didn't know it wouldn't be real, but the truth was she was 27 years old and would not likely see 28. From that day forward he spent every weekend he could get out of Washington with her. He planned outings from sailing, long walks and an occasional baseball games; when she was stronger, to quietly reading and picnicing in the park as she grew weaker. Their friendship was renewed. They had many long conversations just as they had, had when they were younger. She wanted to know his plans, where his life was going and what he dreamed of for the next 5 or 10 years. She wanted the focus entirely on him. He knew all the things she had hoped for as a young girl, but now she seemed satisfied to live vicariously through him. He had no power to change the hand life had dealt her, but he wanted to make at least one of her girlish wishes come true. Mulder had an idea in the back of his mind that he kept to himself because it seemed just a little over the top. He remembered having to endure listening to her and her sisters talk about getting married and planning the perfect day; when Caroline had become engaged. Mac had told him once that she wanted him to walk her down the isle and give her away. It struck him that he may never get to be the one to give her to her groom, but maybe he could play another part. She was declining fast as winter approached and had to go into the Hospital. Mulder decided it was time to put his idea into motion. He formulated a plan, involving her Mother, her sisters and a notary. They would have an impromptu wedding ceremony at the hospital. He got the marriage lincense and had Mac sign it hiding it among some insurance papers her Mother needed her to sign. She simply signed it without a second thought. On December 23rd, the day of the wedding Mulder was visiting her in the hospital and his nervous energy made Mac ask; "Mulder, what are you up to?" "I see that cat that swallowed the canary can't sit still look and I know somethings up." Mulder replied mysteriously with, "You'll see." Her Mother and sisters were outside, so Mulder was waiting for the notary to arrive before taking any further action. He didn't want to give her that much time to think about how rash and impulsive this idea was. Just then the door openned and the notary, Mr.Bach stepped through. Mulder introduced the stranger to Mac, "This is Mr. Bach, a notary." Mac glanced at Mulder curiously as he rushed into action kneeling beside her, he said, "Marry me." Mac looked at him as though he had lost his mind, "Marry you?" "What are you talking about?" Mulder looked at her and smiled tenderly, "Listen Mac, I know this isn't the wedding you pictured but I wanted to give you something special for Christmas this year, so I thought how about me?..." Mulder stood and continued in earnest, "and a hospital wedding with all the trimmings." "Mulder you're crazy." Just them door opened and Mrs. MacAlister, Caroline and Penny came into the room carrying a small cake, balloons, assorted bags of decorations and a beautiful white night gown. "You're all crazy." Mac stated as tears brimmed in her eyes "but I guess I can't disappoint you all, so, lets do it." Mrs. MacAlister ushered Mulder out the door saying, "Fox out you go and take your friend, we'll call, when we're ready." Mulder smiled as he and the notary left. Twenty minutes later he was called back in and the room had been transformed; balloons danced near the ceiling and decorations adorned all the furniture. Mac looked lovely in the white night gown and was holding a small bouquet of poinsettias surrounded by sprigs of holly. She could not stand so Mulder took his place beside her bed. The ceremony was sweet, vows were exchanged, the ring was placed on Mac's finger and then it was Mulder's turn for surprise. He realized that she had a ring for him. Caroline had gone out and gotten a simple gold band that Mac could place on his finger. After the ring was in place the notary declared, "I now pronounce you man and wife." "You may kiss your bride Mr. Mulder." At the notary's words Mulder leaned down and kissed Mac, a chaste kiss. At that moment he recalled a time when they had been 14 or 15 years old and she had talked him into practicing kissing because she wanted to make a good impression on a boy that was taking her to a dance. A smile played on the corner of his mouth, then looking at Mac's smile, he realized she was remembering the same practice session. During the reception nurses and doctors joined in the festivities until they decided that Mac needed to rest. As everyone filed out of the room, she wanted a private moment with Mulder. "I knew you were impulsive and sentimental Fox Mulder, but until now, I had no idea how much." "Thank you, for this perfect day." Mulder tenderly took her hand and said, "Mac you deserve so much more." Mac shook her head but realized that this conversation would be circular. She knew Mulder well enough to know that even though he had done something incredibly special, he wouldn't want her to make a big deal of it. So instead she simply said, "Stay with me til I fall asleep, and oh, by the way you can call me, Mulder. "Mac grinned. He watched as she fell asleep and silently had a conversation with a God he wasn't sure existed, "I know we don't talk, but if you're listening, please welcome her when she comes to your door." Mac died on Christmas Day, two days later, with Mulder holding her as she drew her last breath. Mulder actually wore the ring she gave him for a couple of years after her death. Never explaining why, when all his official papers indicated that he was single, he wore a simple gold band on the ring finger of his left hand. Mulder's Apartment 10:05pm Christmas Day Mulder had fallen asleep on the couch remembering. From what seemed far away he heard a voice and then felt a breath whispering in his ear. "Mulder, wake up." "Mulder its time to wake up." the voice whispered. As Mulders eyes flitted open he tried to focus on the shadowy figure sitting on the chair at his desk. "Hey, sleepyhead." the figure spoke. She had long blonde hair, green eyes that twinkled with gold flecks and a smile that lit up the room. Wow, Mulder thought to himself I've really been sleeping hard, I'm seeing things. "Mulder, you're not seeing things, I'm here, so, sit up and talk to me." After a few seconds the figure tried again, "I've been worried about you ." Mulder sat up and rubbed his eyes. Maybe his mind is playing tricks, how could he be seeing and hearing what he thinks he's seeing and hearing. Unknown ghosts are one thing but a ghost you think you know is quite another. Tentatively he says, "Mac?" "Yes, Mulder, it's Mac, but technically I'm not Mac anymore, I'm Mulder, remember?" A slight tinkle of laughter fills the apartment. "How, how is this possible?" Mulder asks still not quite believing. "Mulder you of all people should know that anything is possible when you believe." Mac replies. Mulder queries further, "Why are you here?" "Because you need me and like I said before, I've been worried about you." came her response. She continued without giving him a chance to ask yet another question. "You had a really close call this year Mulder and even I wasn't sure you would pull through, but she was. "She suspended her disbelief and fought to find the answers to save you in a realm uncharted and unfamiliar to her." "In the end, the strength of her love and faith in you, saved you." "You were right to tell her how you felt that day...she is your constant ...your touchstone, and you need to let her in more." "Why is it so hard?" Mac didn't wait for his response, "Because you don't want anyone else you love to leave?" "She won't, Mulder." "Look how many times you've pushed her away and she's still here, for better or worse... sound familiar." Mulder looked at Mac, finally believing in her presence. "So, what are you saying Mac, I should marry Scully?" "Mulder, you've got to show her how you feel, first." "Start with a kiss and work your way up or down as you see fit." Mac gave him a teasing smile. "Listen, my time is growing short." "Along with this quest you're on you have to balance a little happiness for yourself, something you used to know, but seem to have forgotten." "Mulder reveal your heart." "Scully is your happiness and if need an excuse to get started New Year's Eve is just around the corner. Take her out, or stay in, but find away to make something happen." "You will need her strength in the month's to come and must make the first move." "Goodbye Mulder, I love you..." She was gone. Mulder startled awake at the ringing of the telephone, his pulse racing and heart pounding in his chest. The answering machine picked up, "This is Fox Mulder, please leave a message after the tone." beeep! "Mulder, it's me." came the familiar voice. "I thought you'd be home from your Mom's by now... I hope your not out ghostbusting." "Anyway, Merry Christmas and I'll see you in a few days." Click, the machine shut off. Mulder had started to pick up the phone but stopped realizing he needed to process all that had transpired. Was Mac really here or had it all been a dream? It had felt real and the discourse was Mac. As he got up and moved toward the chair where she had been sitting he spied a gold band laying on his desk. He picked it up and engraved inside the band were the words "FM Love Loyalty Friendship RM." His wedding ring had been in a box on his dresser for years. He smiled and thought that maybe he should heed her advise, after all New Year's Eve was just around the corner. Title: --------------------------- ONElist Sponsor ---------------------------- GRAB THE GATOR! FREE SOFTWARE DOES ALL THE TYPING FOR YOU! Tired of filling out forms and remembering passwords? Gator fills in forms and passwords with just one click! Comes with $50 in free coupons! 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